When It Hurt
by metaphoricheart
Summary: "Edmund was always very stoic, and strong. He rolled with the punches, and didn't show when it hurt. Sometimes that came around to nip his ankles, but Peter had always been there. But this time he hadn't." Drabbles of those times. No incest or slash.
1. Chapter 1: Irritable

**Irritable **

**I do not own Narnia or it's characters. **

**This idea is based off of a line in my other story, Sorted. **

**"Edmund was always very stoic, and strong. He rolled with the punches, and didn't show when it hurt. Sometimes that came around to nip his ankles, but Peter had always been there. But this time he hadn't." This will probably be a series of drabbles of all thos times, possibly up until the scene from Sorted (which was Sorcerery and Sudden Vengeance in Caspian). Not sure how far this is going to go.**

A little six year old, Edmund was tottering around in Susan's bedroom. He knew he shouldn't be in his 8 year old sister's room, but he couldn't help it. Her room had the best picture books, and crayons in it. He loved to be in there. Just as he was taking out a book, Susan he came in the room.

"Edmund! Please stop touching my things!"

"I just wanted to look at the book, Su".

"Well you could have just asked!"

"Okay. May I please borrow your book?" Edmund smiled at her innocently.

"No! If you had asked, I would have let you. But now it's too late."

Edmund's little face scrunched up, but he quickly composed it. _No. I will not cry. Crying is for when you fall down the stairs, and bang your head. Not for when you cannot look at a book. _He gave Susan a hurt look, and left the room.

Later that night, he accidently bumped into Susan on his way to bed. Susan was exhausted, and thoroughly exasperated with her little brother.

"Watch where you're going Ed, you nearly made me topple down the stairs!"

"I'm sorry," he said his eyes looking sad. "It was an accident."

Susan rolled her eyes, and slammed the door to her room.

Now Edmund was angry with Susan. He didn't mean to upset her, he just wanted to look at the book, and he really hadn't meant to make her almost fall down the stairs. Why did she have to be so mean sometimes? Just because she was older, and the smartest in her class didn't mean she could push him around.

The next morning, he entered the kitchen, and sat down at the table. Susan shot him annoyed look. He hadn't even done anything yet! All he did was sit down! He stared dejectedly at the table.

"What's wrong with you, Ed?" Peter asked noticing his brother's expression when he entered the room. Edmund shot a glare at Susan, before replying to his brother. "Nothing."

Peter looked from Edmund to Susan, confused. "…Okay, then, can you pass me the milk Susan".

When Peter said this, Edmund had been reaching for the milk at the exact same time.

"I had it first," Susan said.

"No, I did," Edmund whined.

"Who cares? You can't even pour it yourself anyway."

Edmund let go of the milk, dropped his spoon into his bowl, and ran out of the room. Their mother came back into the kitchen at that moment. She watched her youngest son run down the hallway, "Edmund?"

"Leave me alone!"

She looked at her other two children sitting at the table. Peter sighed, and got up to follow Edmund. He entered Edmund's room, and found him with his buried into his pillow.

"Edmund?"

Edmund looked up, and put his face tear streaked face back into his pillow. He was crying. He hadn't meant to. He'd tried his hardest not to, but he did. Now Peter was probably going to call him a cry baby. Peter was always going on about cry babies, and how Edmund shouldn't be one.

Peter sat down on Edmund's dinosaur sheets. "Why are you crying? What's wrong?"

"You'll just tell me I'm a baby," Edmund's muffled voice came from the pillow.

"No, I won't. I promise. Please tell me why you're crying". He pulled Edmund from the pillow, and placed him on his lap.

"Susan is being mean to me. Yesterday, I went in her room, I know I shouldn't have. But she has the best books. I just wanted to look at one, but she yelled at me. Then I bumped into her on the stairs, and she told me that I almost pushed her down them. And _then _this morning she looked mad at me when I sat down, and wouldn't let me have the milk," Edmund sniffled into Peter's shoulder.

"Edmund, just ignore her. Sometimes she gets annoyed for no reason. You do too, and you know it. But she had no right to take out her irritability on you. I'll talk to her later, and get her to apologize."

"What does irr-irraboolity mean?"

"Irritability. It means that she is grumpy."

"Oh." Edmund got up, and pulled on Peter's hand. "Will you pour my milk for me?"

Peter smiled.


	2. Chapter 2: Teacher's Pet

"Yeah, bet you didn't expect that you little squirt!"

Edmund's freckled face was smashed onto the concrete. He was now 10 years old, and Peter was 13.

Edmund whimpered. "Yeah, that's what you get for being a teacher's pet." The bigger boys crowded around him, and soon the older boys too.

"Teacher's pet! Teacher's pet!" They shouted at him. They kicked him in the side for good measure, and walked away.

Edmund stayed on the ground, trying hard not to cry. He hadn't even done anything, and what was so bad about doing well in school? Susan and Peter got good grades, and no one was beating them up.

He pulled himself up, and walked back to the dorm room he and Peter shared. He wiped his tears before opening the door.

Avoiding Peter's gaze, he pulled out his school books, and then slammed them shut. He didn't want to be a teacher's pet. Peter looked up at him. "Where'd you get that bruise on your face from?"

"Nowhere."

"Why did you just close your books like that? Don't you have a big test tomorrow?"

"Would you get off my case already?" Edmund didn't want Peter to know what the other boys were doing to him.

Peter sighed, something was up. But of course, Edmund never asked for help, and struggled along by himself.

The next day Edmund came in the same fashion. He was staring at a piece of paper in horror mixed with satisfaction. He, Edmund Pevensie, had failed a test. He hated himself for it, but he thought maybe this would be enough to stop the older boys from beating him up.

Peter looked at him curiously but said nothing. On his way to dinner, the older boys had caught up with Edmund, and hit him. Before he they could do more, Edmund had broken into a run, and didn't stop until he got back to his room. He crashed into the room. Peter looked up in confusion as Edmund locked their door.

"What are you locking the door for? What were you running from?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing." Edmund sat down on his bed, and started staring at the piece of paper again, only this time he was glaring angrily at it.

Peter got up and sat down on the bed with Edmund. He looked over at the paper. "Ed! Since when you do you fail a test?"

"When the test is too hard," Edmund grumbled.

"Oh come on, Ed. You're lying through your teeth."

"Don't tell mum," Edmund pleaded.

"I won't tell her if you tell me what's up."

Edmund sighed. "The other boys were beating me up, and called me teacher's pet. I thought if I failed a test, they'd leave me alone….but they didn't."

Peter put his hand on Edmund's shoulder, "It'll be okay. I'll fix it."

The next day he walked Edmund everywhere. Finally the boys turned up on their way to lunch, but halted at the sight of Peter. Peter was popular, and everyone knew not to mess with him unless they wanted to get told on.

"Well look who it is, Squirt. And oooh, he's brought a friend," they sneered.

"Actually, he's my brother," Peter said scathingly.

"Oh, didn't know this little slime ball was related to you Pete," they said jeering, but they looked terrified.

"No, you didn't." Peter glared at them, challenging them to hit his little brother.

"S-sorry." And they ran away.


	3. Chapter 3: Gone

**Gone**

He was gone. His dad had left that morning. Gone. Gone. Gone. The word echoed around in Edmund's head, which felt hollow and numb. The house felt colder without his dad. Without his laugh. Without his smile. Without his scolding. Without his rustle of newspaper every night.

Edmund put his head on his pillow, and closed his eyes. He wasn't going to cry, crying wouldn't bring his dad back.

He heard his door open, but didn't open his eyes.

"Ed?" Peter asked softly.

"What?" Edmund still kept his eyes closed.

"You okay?"

Everyone knew that it was Edmund who was going to take this the hardest. He was closest to their dad, and had fought hard not to sob at the train station. By dinner time, Edmund had looked ill, and wouldn't meet anyone's eyes.

"Fantastic," he replied wryly.

Peter smiled sadly. That was always the way you could tell with Edmund, he'd give a sarcastic remark to everything when he was upset. Sitting on his brother's bed, he placed a hand on his knee, and said, "It's going to work out fine. You'll see."

Edmund sighed, opening eyes. "If you say so," he replied skeptically.

"I do." Peter smiled at him.

Edmund just blinked. "Can you go away now? I want to go to sleep."

Peter gave Edmund's knee one last pat, and left his room.

After that night everything changed. Not in one fell swoop, but gradually, and painfully. Peter began to feel the weight of responsibility of having to be the man of the house, and not really knowing how to do that, became more of Edmund's second mother, instead of the friend he'd always been. Edmund grew angrier, and felt abandoned by everyone in his family. He lashed out. He was nasty at home, and talked back at school. He bullied the younger children, and felt bullied by Peter. He no longer played with Lucy. He was hurting and no one seemed to care. His mother and Susan tried to talk to him, but he shut them out. By the time he met the White Witch he was so lonely and craved attention, and that made him vulnerable to her. It made him vulnerable to betraying his family, and harming many other beings in the process. At the end of it all, he wasn't a bad person. He was just a scared, little boy who missed his dad, and needed his big brother. Even if he would never admit it.


End file.
